Under armed escort with black bags over our heads to safeguard the location, Heidi, Erin and I made our way into the Battlestar Galactica costume vault. All we can tell you about this location is that it is roughly a mile underground and has a vague resemblance to where the Ark of the Covenant was stashed in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”. In short… this place is Frakkin HUGE!!!

So there we were, hermetically sealed in our plastic jumpsuits and given free range of the costume vault… Oh WHERE to start? Flight suits of course!!!

Number FIVE on our list of awesomeness was Anders Flight suit. This is the flight suit worn by Samuel “Longshot” Anders from the “He That Believeth In Me” episode and in the first half of Season Four. Watching Erin and Heidi lovingly sniff the costume for a hint of “Anders musk” I couldn’t help but think that poor ole Sam ended things naked in a tub flying the entire fleet into the Sun. Poor guy.

Quickly I moved on to something I could sink my teeth into… Namely number FOUR on our list: Caprica Six’s outfit from the miniseries. Yeah, you heard me right; you all know the one. Black sheer blouse and skirt with geometric patterns; with matching black patent leather bra and panties. Awe yeah. I’ll give the Six’s one thing. They sure know how to dress.

Trying not to fanboy too hard but failing miserably, I turn my head and see another of Six’s costumes: The “Iconic” Red Dress. Hubba Frakkin Hubba. Yeah. Had it not been for the armed guards and tight security, I might have done some rather inappropriate things to that dress. This dress made number THREE on my list. It would have made more… but a strange smell and the girls chattering about something in the corner got my attention. So reluctantly, off I went.

I had heard of “stump butter” before but couldn’t fathom of what it might smell like. Until now! The pungent odor of what can only be described as a dirty foot mixed with smelly armpits assaulted my senses like a nuke hitting Caprica City. There, held high by Erin for all to see, was number TWO on the list: Gaeta’s Duty Blue uniform with missing pant leg. Gaeta was not a favorite character of mine, but seeing this uniform made me feel sorry for the guy. We quickly stuffed the one legged suit back into the vault and headed on down the corridor in search of our next treasure.

Eureka! Now, if you think stump butter is bad… char-grilled Starbuck is WAY worse! Number ONE on our list of Frakkin awesome costumes is Dead Starbucks Charred flight suit. Seeing this made me chuckle at the irony that Starbuck burned her own body in a funeral pyre and her husband Sam Anders torched himself and the entire fleet in the Sun. (By the way, I lovingly refer to him now as Sizzled Anders.) Everything on this costume is burned, the tank top, undershirt, patches, emblems, gloves and shoes. All of it is toasty with a slight hint of burned hair. MMmm.

Other cool costume we noticed behind two feet of bullet proof glass were:

· Baltars Religious leader outfit. (Or his “pimp robe” as we like to call it.)

· Leoben’s Ragnar Anchorage outfit. (His taste in clothing is so bad it’s awesome.)

· Hera’s Opera house dress from “Crossroads”. (Wow, Cylons grow FAST!)

· Tyrol’s orange coverall’s with welding vest. (It’s a one of a kind piece of kick-ass costuming!)

· Banzai’s Vintage Flight Suit. (A: its vintage. 2: it’s a flight suit. III: it was worn by a dude named “BANZAI”.)

These were all pretty darn fantastic costumes. Runner-up’s to this list that need to be honorably mentioned:

· Ellen’s Final Five robe. (Throughout the series this is the only woman who has worn less clothing than all of the Six models combined. So having her covered collar to cuff is impressive! Thank you to Heidi for picking up on that gem.)

· Pregnant Six’s outfit from “Deadlock”. (Anything Six wears is hot. Even a stuffed foam pregnant belly piece.)

· Tigh’s Blue Boxers. (Seeing Saul Tigh in these blue boxers trying to set his sash on fire in Season Two’s episode “Valley of Darkness” is just priceless if not unforgettable. I was told to let everyone know… there was no sniffing of these boxers by any member of our staff. And we are sticking to that… really. So say we all!)

For some unknown reason (possibly involving the aforementioned “Blue Boxers”) we were all quickly ushered out the door by the armed guards. I swear it was a possible Cylon invasion threat. The guards say otherwise. So I am writing this from the brig deep in the Battlestar Galactica costume vault. I hear Romo Lampkin will be in to see me soon to help me with my case… but I am not holding my breath.

All this happened before on January 17^th and 18^th of 2009… and it will happen again May 8^th-10^th 2009. Join us for the “LAST OF THE BEST”, the final auction at the Pasadena Convention Center in Pasadena California. Or if your FTL drive is down and can’t be there in person, be sure to register online to bid at www.auctionnetwork.com.

I’ll see you around the fleet.

Damian